Thinking Of You
by Motor City Mistress
Summary: Alex Shelley is dating Chris Sabin, but there's a problem. He can't stop thinking of his ex-boyfriend Kevin Nash. Who will he end up choosing? Slash


TITLE: Thinking of You

**TITLE: Thinking of You**

**CHARACTERS: Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Kevin Nash**

**PAIRINGS: Alex Shelley/Chris Sabin; past and one-sided Alex Shelley/Kevin Nash**

**NOTES: Don't have any…**

**DISCLAIMER: The characters are not mine, nor do I claim they are.**

Alex Shelley smiled as Chris Sabin wrapped his arms around him. He set a palm on Chris's folded hands and turned to look at his boyfriend over his shoulder. Chris leaned forward and pressed his lips to Alex's cheek. "Hey, babe."

"Hey." Alex returned breathlessly. He laughed quietly as Chris nuzzled the back of his head. "Hey! Don't mess up my hair!" He turned in Chris's arms. "We have a match in a few. Need to look good, you know?"

Chris sighed over dramatically, releasing Alex. "Okay…" He gently kissed Alex's lips.

Alex leaned in, kissing back after a moment. He pulled away quickly when Chris tried to put his tongue in his mouth. Chris looked surprised. Alex rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Hey, just…didn't want to get too in to it before the match, you know?"

Chris still looked confused and slightly hurt, but nodded anyway. "I guess…" He sighed again and set his head on Alex's shoulder, but just then, Kevin Nash walked up.

Alex bounced over excitedly, not noticing that he had let Chris's head fall. "Hi, Kev! What's up?"

Kevin laughed, ruffling Alex's dark hair affectionately. "Hey, Baby Bear. Nothing much, just wanted to wish you guys luck."

Chris dragged his feet as he walked over to his boyfriend and the older man. "Hey, Kev."

"Sabin!" Kevin slapped Chris hard on the shoulder. "How are you doing, buddy?"

Chris shrugged. "Fine, I guess." He glanced at Alex out of the corner of his eye. Alex was making eyes at Kevin, as though Chris weren't even there. The brunette wrapped an arm low around his younger boyfriend's hips and pulled him closer. "Just hanging out with my boyfriend. Right, Alex?"

Alex shot a look at Chris that told him to stop being so clingy. "Yeah, just two normal, gay guys hanging out."

Kevin laughed. "Chris, man, don't worry. I'm not looking to take your boy from you. We broke up last year and we've both moved on. Right, Baby Bear?"

Alex sighed and hung his head. "Right…Kevvie…" He pulled out of Chris's hold. "Well, our match is up so we better just head over to the tunnel. See you around, Kev…"

Kevin nodded. "Yeah, okay, Baby Bear." He took a look at Chris's face, watching the crystalline blue eyes grow watery. "Hey, hey, Sabes. It's okay. He's always like that."

Chris sniffled before looking up at Kevin, angry. "He's _my_ boyfriend! Why does he keep _throwing _himself at you?! Why does he still love you?!" He pushed Kevin hard in the chest, succeeding in only moving the bigger man back about an inch. "He only acts like that when _you're _around!" Chris felt the tears trickling from his eyes. "He doesn't even care about me!"

Alex's head appeared around the corner of the tunnel. "Chrissy! Entrance in 10 seconds! Hurry up!"

Chris wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, shooting another glare at Kevin. "He still loves you."

Kevin sighed as he watched the two men exchange a kiss inside the tunnel. Alex pulled away more quickly than he ever had when he and Kevin were together. "I know he does…"

**XxXxXxXxXx**

After the match, Chris had almost forgotton why he was mad at Kevin and Alex. He smiled as he watched Alex stand in front of the mirror, fully nude and freshly showered. He poked lightly at his abs.

"Chrissy?"

Chris's smile slowly widened. "Yeah, baby doll?"

Alex blushed at the nickname. "Do I have any more baby fat or is it all gone now?"

Chris blinked and looked at Alex's thin, lithe body. "Nothing, sweetheart. No baby fat." He grinned. "Though all that baby fat made you look super cute."

Alex smiled at himself in the mirror. "Yeah, Kevin always said my baby fat was cute." He sighed dreamily. "And when he would hold me, he would pinch it just a little bit and tell me how adorable he thought it was…"

Chris bit his lip as Alex's mind began to wander. He didn't know what to say when Alex started acting like this.

Alex looked at Chris in the mirror, watching his blue eyes fill with tears that he knew would never spill. The dark haired man sighed again, but didn't bother comforting his boyfriend. "Hey, Chrissy? Can we go back to the hotel?"

Chris glanced up and sighed too. He wiped his eyes off and stood. The older man extracted the rental car's keys from his pocket. "Yeah, babe. Just get dressed and we can go."

Alex obliged, pulling a tee shirt and a pair of shorts from his bag. He dressed himself hurriedly and shouldered the bag. "I'm ready."

Chris released a breath and looked at himself in the mirror. He hadn't bothered to put on more than his jeans. "Just let me get changed."

Alex nodded, looking towards the door. "Can I wait outside?"

Chris shrugged, already turning his back.

Alex pushed the heavy metal door open and slipped into the hallway. He spotted a familiar tall, gray haired man walking towards him. "Kev! Hey!" He ran towards the man and jumped into his arms. "How are you, big man?"

Kevin chuckled, taking a look up and down the hallway before laying a small kiss on Alex's lips. "Fine, Baby Bear. No Chris?"

Alex shook his head. "He'll be out here any second though." He sighed. "Every time he kisses me, I think of you. No matter what we do, I think of you. It's sort of sad that I'm still with him." He nuzzled Kevin's chin. "I want to get back together. You're the best."

Kevin laughed. "What is Chris, then?"

Alex tilted his head to ponder that. "He's…second best. He's not you and I want you." He kissed Kevin again, quickly. "Please, Kev?"

Kevin faltered, holding Alex closer. "Baby Bear…not when you're with Chris. Break up with him and then we'll talk." When Alex looked at his feet sadly, Kevin tickled his stomach. "Don't worry, 'Lex."

"I can't just break up with him!" Alex whispered loudly at his ex boyfriend. "You don't get it Kev. He's so in love with me, and I love him too…just not as much as I love you."

At that moment, Chris walked out of the locker room. "'Lexie?"

Alex turned quickly and ran over to Chris. "Hey, Chrissy! Ready to go?" He kissed Chris's lips hastily and took his hand. "See you around, Big Kev!"

Kevin raised his hand in a goodbye gesture and turned away with a sigh. Yes, he had told Alex that if he broke up with Chris, they would have a chance of getting back together. But, it wasn't like Alex would really do that, right? He wasn't about to break up with his boyfriend for Kevin.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Alex lounged on the bed in he and Chris's hotel room, clothed only in his black and silver pajama pants. Chris was in the shower just then.

The dark haired man angrily rubbed at his hazel eyes. What was he going to do? Was he really in love with Chris? Or Kevin? He leaned back into his arms and let his eyes drift closed. Pros and cons. That's what he needed. Pros and cons. Start with pros.

Chris was, in one word, gorgeous; in three words, gorgeous beyond belief. His light, sandy hair set off his crystal blue eyes perfectly. His figure was amazing. He barely had to work out to get those beautiful, masculine lines. He was about the same height as Alex, allowing them to easily stay at the same level. He made love like none other. Alex could hardly recall all of the times their lovemaking sessions lasted twice, even three times as long as any between himself and Kevin. And Chris was his age, not someone older than his own father.

But Chris wasn't perfect. He had his flaws. One was his…ahem, size. Kevin was much larger. And sometimes being the same height made for problems when cuddling on the couch. He was too clingy; at times almost becoming borderline obsessive. Chris was childish, too. He opted to play video games over working out and balked at doing any housework around their small apartment. Sometimes, Alex found Chris sitting on the couch in his underwear, just playing video games. Alex would ask where Chris's clothes were and Chris would shrug nonchalantly and reply "You didn't wash them."

Yes, Alex nodded, he and Chris had some problems. Some could be remedied, some couldn't. Alex sighed and sat up just as the bathroom door opened. Chris walked out, a pair of blue and red Superman boxers on his lower half while he towel-dried his brown hair. The older smiled at his boyfriend. "Hey, 'Lexie."

Alex forced a grin back. "Chrissy."

Chris fell onto the bed next to him, wrapping his arms securely around his boyfriend. "What are you thinking about?"

Chris's scent was distinctively different from Kevin's, Alex mused as he inhaled. Chris smelled like Axe, soap, and a touch of sweat. Kevin tended to over apply both his aftershave and cologne, letting that announce his presence in a room. As Chris's arms softly ensconced Alex, the younger leaned his head back. He couldn't help imagining that it was Kevin holding him. Instead of the lean arms, he felt large, smooth muscles. He could practically feel Kevin's chest behind him.

Chris slowly began to pet Alex's flat mohawk away from his forehead. "Oh, 'Lexie." He nuzzled the back of the other man's ear. "I love you so much."

Alex's eyes, which had been closed, popped open in surprise. He found his mouth going dry for some reason. He had never heard Chris say that sentence with so much passion before. "Wh-what?"

Chris chuckled breathily against Alex's ear. "I said I love you, babe. I love you so much." He sighed happily and drew Alex closer to him. "Even though I know you still love Kevin."

Alex bit his lip. Chris knew. "What do you mean?"

"I see the way you look at him, Alex." Chris snuggled against Alex's back. "I don't care, honestly. It's your life. Just one question." The older brunette looked at his younger boyfriend seriously. "Who…who do you love more?"

Alex sighed and turned in Chris's arms to face him. The younger buried his face in Chris's chest and gave the soft skin a tender kiss. "I don't know."

Chris let out a slow breath and held Alex close, slowly laying them both down on the bed. He gathered his boyfriend up in his arms and kissed his forehead lovingly. "I love you, Alex. I really love you."

Alex hid his face in Chris's shoulder and tossed an arm around him. "I…I love you, too." He replied. As Chris drifted happily to sleep, Alex pouted, angry at himself. Did he really love Chris?

**XxXxXxXxXx**

At the next day's tapings, Alex tried to find a moment to himself. It seemed like Chris was trying to merge with him, the way he clung to Alex's arm. Finally, he managed to shake Chris off with Petey Williams, and he found refuge in an empty bathroom stall. Quickly, the young man locked the door and sat down on the lid of the toilet with a sigh. "What am I going to do?" He grumbled to himself, angrily scratching his scalp. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eye sockets.

Alex still wasn't sure who he wanted. Chris, who loved him so much and understood him so deeply? Or Kevin, who he had spent the best time of his life with, an older, more mature man?

Suddenly, the door to the bathroom flew open and, instinctively, Alex pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around them, trying to pretend he wasn't there. He could hear the argument before the men even entered the room.

"Well, sorry, _Your Highness_, I didn't realize you got over me that fast!" An enraged Sonjay Dutt yelled.

Alex's breathing slowed. Somehow, it felt like maybe he shouldn't be hearing this.

"Sonj, I was getting _married_! _We_ were just a fucking _fling_! Friends with benefits, no strings attached!" Jay Lethal shouted back. "I love Val, and you need to back off. Stop telling people she loves you when you obviously just don't want me and her together."

Sonjay was silent for a moment. Alex could feel the tension. It was thick in the air.

"Fuck you, Jay." And just like that, the door slammed again.

"Sonjay!" Jay cried at the door. "C'mon, don't be like that!"

Alex sighed and, to get Jay's attention, flushed the toilet. He opened the door and sheepishly walked out into the light. He smoothed down his mohawk. "Hey, Jay. What was all that about?"

Jay turned in surprise. "How long have you…?"

Alex sighed again, setting a large hand on Jay's shoulder. "I heard the whole thing, man." He shook his head sadly. "You've got relationship issues, too?"

Jay nodded and turned to look at himself in the mirror. "I don't get it. Sonjay insists that me and him were a couple and we never broke up when I started dating Val, but…" He shrugged. "We were just friends with benefits, not an actual couple, you know?"

Alex nodded in return, jumping up onto the counter. "So, he still loves you, then?"

Jay tilted his shoulders sadly. "I guess so." He rubbed his eyes gently. "But, I'm with Val now. I don't need someone else trying to break us up." He sighed and looked at Alex seriously. "What about you? What's your issue?"

Alex shrugged. "Well, you know how I'm with Chris? And I used to be with Kevin?"

Jay nodded, moving to sit next to his friend on the counter. He watched Alex swing his legs for a moment before looking back up to his face. The other man looked lost in concentration. "What about them?"

Alex let out a long breath. "Well, see, I love them both. I mean, Chris is great and all, but I still really love Kev. Kev said he might get back with me if I leave Chris, but I don't want to leave Chris, you know? I just don't know what to do. I love Chris, I really do, but Kevin was, like, my first true love. I just…I can't choose."

Jay quirked an eyebrow. "'Lex, do you remember why you and Kevin broke up?"

Alex felt tears in his eyes. "He…he cheated on me…with Scott Hall." He wiped at the tears with the back of his hand. "And…he wanted to get me out of the picture…so that he could ask Scott to move in."

Jay patted Alex on the back, rubbing soothing circles into the tee shirt clad skin. "I know Scott moved out, but Kevin loves him. For real." He sighed when Alex turned to put his head on his shoulder. The African man gently petted his friend's hair. "Kevin loves you, just not like that."

Alex cried softly into Jay's tee shirt. "I…I know…" He pulled his head away and looked at himself in the mirror. He wiped at his eyes. "Thanks, Jay. I made my decision."

Jay smiled and got off the counter. "Good boy. Listen, I need to go talk to Val and find Sonjay. See you around."

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Later that night, back at their apartment, Alex spent about half an hour fixing himself up in the bathroom. Chris, meanwhile, was picking them up a movie.

Alex smiled at himself while putting the finishing touches on his outfit. He rolled up the black sleeves of his button-down shirt and swept his hand over his short hair confidently. He heard the door open and shut and then Chris's distinctive yell. "Honey, I'm home!"

"Just a minute!" Alex yelled back, flashing a smile at himself in the mirror. He picked up the red rose from the counter and twirled it between his fingers. A string and paper attached to it read 'Be Mine?' with a diamond engagement ring tied to the end. He smiled at his handiwork, gently fingering the rose petals. "I'm just…getting ready."

Chris knocked on the bathroom door. "Hey, 'Lexie, why's there a note out here that says 'Get dressed nice'? What's that about?"

Alex grinned. "I made reservations at the Ocean Club. Now hurry up. We have to get there in half an hour."

"What?" Chris pounded a fist on the door in disbelief. "What are you talking about?"

Alex slowly opened the door, smiling widely. He held the rose out to his boyfriend. "Chris, I love you so much. I just want to take you out to a nice place to celebrate our…engagement."

"Engagement?!" Chris looked down at the rose, wide eyed. He slowly took the note in his hand and, tears of happiness filling his crystal eyes, he touched the ring. "For real?"

Alex nodded. "Baby, will you marry me?"

Chris answered him by jumping into his arms. Alex caught him and held him close. "Can I take that as a 'yes'?" He smirked, gently guiding the ring to Chris's ring finger.

"Yes. Yes, yes, yes." Chris cried happily. "I love you, Alex. I love you so, so much!"

Alex silenced him with a bruising kiss. "And I love you, too."


End file.
